Letting You Go

It’s not the same anymore…
Since the last time you walked out the door.
This pain keeps tearing at my soul.
You’ve left my heart with a brutal gaping hole.

Its always the lies, the same old lies.
Your words could never sell the lies,
when the truth shows in your eyes.
I keep hoping it doesn't have to be the end.
I keep praying we’re still those special friends.
But I can feel it’s not the same anymore…
Ever since the last time you walked out the door.

I tell myself you’ll come back to me.
But am slowly dying inside, you see.
My eyes keep searching for your face,
Frantically I look in every corner, at every place.

Its always the lies, the same old lies.
Your words could never sell the lies,
when the truth shows in your eyes.
Memories of you are tied to everything,
A lonely tune my soul sings.
‘Coz it’s not the same anymore.
Since the last time you walked out the door.

The pain is unbearable!
The tears are unstoppable!
But I have to let you go.
Even though, I love you so.
I keep telling myself “I’ll get by”.
Pasting a smile on my face, so I don’t cry.
I keep saying this will make me strong.
Even though, inside I feel so wronged.

Its always the lies, the same old lies.
Your words could never sell the lies,
when the truth shows in your eyes.
Now it’s not the same anymore
It changed when you stopped being the soul mate that I know.

- Silencia

Tears on my pillow

drop without a sound.


Anger born from hurt,

loneliness all around.


Last week a living nightmare,

desperation filled with despair.


Yet now I reach for and

this feeling nothing can compare.



- Silencia

Confusion, contemplation,
and unsure confirmation.
Past thoughts, tears in vain,
and wounds still filled with pain.
These were some of the obstacles you faced.
of a fading heart that resides in a frozen place.
A road where none tread too often.
For there lay emotions that were choked before the heart softens.

A solid steeled exterior with an almost absent soul.
An empty existence with thoughts and feelings that were buried, whole.
All explanation fell on deaf ears.
All pleas to walk away, you dismissed as yesterday's fears.
Stubbornly you chose to stay,
and slowly pushed all mental reservations away.
Love, an emotion long forgotten,spread its vines engulfing this frigid being.
Thrust into your world, terrified, the only thought was that of fleeing.
Then the frozen heart began to thaw, the sceptical mind slowly learning to trust.
The mechanical existence no longer accumulating its rust.

Now long gone are the days of lifeless existence.
Standing by your side, my soul has traveled the distance.
An existence, a life, a heart,a soul, thoughts and emotions, this is what I attained.
But these now bind me to you and chained forever I shall remain.
You have the power to destroy me, should you choose to ever let go.
For now this being knows of no other but to love you so.

There is no bridge, there never really was.

It’s an illusion my mind’s eye created, a vision hiding all flaws.

But the mist now cleared, I see the gap.

Funny how they seem so normal, still can’t break free of this emotional trap.

You are not mine, I am not yours.

Yet no matter how hard I try, you always unlock all the doors.

They say I deserve better. I keep telling myself you belong to someone else.

But still only when I’m with you, I find moments when I can truly be MYSELF.

SILENCIA

As Time Goes By, Each Moment Melts Into The Other.

I Turn To You With A Sigh.
Your Eyes Still Hold That Vacant Stare.

Pain Disguised As I Look Away.
The Reflection Of Me I'll Never See There.

I Know It Is Destructive To Stay.
These Emotions Withen Forever Veiled.

Awkward Moments Draw Me Back To You.
They Swirl The Indecision That I Lie In.

I Should Walk Away And Never Let You Know.
'Coz If I Did, You'd Probably Still Let Me Go.

SILENCIA

I STILL WAIT!!!

If I could make one wish,

Having the real ‘you’ back is what I would wish for.

But sadly you seem to have lost your way,

Coz now I seem to yet feel alone each day.

It seems like I’ve loved you my whole life through.

But now I can’t seem to find the man I once knew.

And still I wait each day,

Wondering if you will ever again come my way.

Wish I could move on and find somebody new.

But I know I never will for I promised to love you my whole life through.

So all I do is wait, hoping someday you will want to be with me.

Don’t have a choice for I love you more than infinitely you see.

Silencia

Moments of pleasure, moments of pain—

moments of content, moments of doubt.

Never constant, never secure.

Forever changing , always winding.

You & I, what a pair we make.

No labels, no ties,no promises that—

we put into this.

'This'—What is it really?

Lust? Friendship? Love? A brief interlude?

A nameless attachment? A complete bond?

Yet our separate lives hold greater strength.

Together there is magic, so surreal.

Distance poses the questions through my head.

Try to walk away, but end up right back—

back to where it all began.

Test my emotions, destroy any feelings,

But they fight back.

Stronger than I've ever felt them.

'Goodbye'—Parting, a sweet sorrow.

Sorrow that engulfs me,

and slices through my soul.

Where is it going? where do we end?

Questions that come up, ever so often.

Answers that are present, buried deep.

Sanity says "Let go! walk away!"

Soul says,"Stay for atleast another day!"

- Silencia

In The Still Of The Night

In the still of the night,
When no ones near.

There exists a silent cry,
that no one hears.

A haunting sound,
filled with pain.

But left unheard,
Those tears shed in vain.

The lights are out,
All in a sleep so deep.

But one lays in the dark,
with eyes that weep.

No soul has seen -
those tear filled eyes.

Only the moon has heard,
those mournful cries.

Suddenly , a prayer is heard.
A haunting cry to the heavens above.

"Never let another shed those silent tears.
Never leave a heart that craves for love."

Silencia

White Flowers

A vision so pure,

Its beauty so rare.

But they told me,

"Never ever go there"

Those white flowers,

its beauty deceives.

Drawn by this vision,

which causes one to grieve.

Behind that enchantment,

lies death and despair.

Loss of a loved one,

the watcher who went there.

Those white flowers,

beautiful but cold.

Portraying all happiness,

but sorrow it really holds.

-Silencia

Life With Death

A sinister figure,

with hollowed eyes.

Walks a cloak of black.

Heard are mournful sighs.

The dark, cold night,

kills all in sight.

Ruthless slashes, haunting cries.

White skinned faces around him lie.

To dust they return.

As from dust they came.

Those murderous evil eyes,

feared by all the same.

- Silencia

Dancing With Your Shadow

Sparkling moonbeams over the rhythmic waves.
Midnight sky with a deep gray haze.

I tread silently on cold comforting sand.

Calm silence was broken with soft footsteps behind.

Our shadows met that night along the shore.

They danced in the moonlight.

They sang by the sea.

Heaven was ours for those moments you were with me.

I turned to watch the sunrise,

and you were gone.

Where? How far? I’ll never know.

But, I knew that night I glimpsed into my soulmates’ eyes.

Now I walk alone by the sea again.

Hoping one day you’ll come this way.

My shadow questions me, with rage,

But I painfully turn away.

My shadow still searches for you each day.

I secretly pray, she finds you some way.

I long to dance in the moonlight again.

Maybe this time your shadow won’t leave me again.


- Silencia

Angels Take Me To You

Angels outside my backdoor, silently they play.

Undisturbed, unnoticed, in the calm night.
I quietly watch their beauty through my window.
No movement, no sound or they disappear.

I long to move closer,
Touch them, they leave quietly.
Feel them, they move away slowly.

Angels in my backyard, silently they sing.

I fall asleep, listening to their sounds.
They lead me to you.
I know you, we've met before.

I thought we spoke, heard the words in my head.
You knew my fears. You felt my pain.
We sat with the angels and laughed at their games.

I was calm.....
I was composed.....
I was with you.

I reach out to hold your hand, wanting to be with you forever.
Suddenly, Your face turns hazy, your hand no longer in mine.
Where have the angels gone, why have they disappeared.

I look for you......
I can't find you.....
my eyes fill with the pain run deep.

I realize you exist in a world, where angels take me when I sleep.

- Silencia

Another road, a different turn.
Seemless wanderings, turbid paths.
Often transcending to destinations unknown.
But yet, I’ve always stood there alone.

Brief interludes, where I found sanctuary.
They worked as a salve for my gutted being.
But brief is all they ever remained,
Leaving my soul, once again writhing in pain.

The hollowness, the memories, the verisimilitude promises,
Tried so incessantly to escape from.
Indulged in that, which momentarily takes me away.
A trance always filled with the bright colors of day.

Yet, my quandary always remains.
As the static illusion continues.
Moving on, I travel to the next road,
As I live through yet another wrenching episode.

- Silencia

Circles That Lead To You

I have tread these great distances,

the long and winding paths.

Seems like I've gone full circles.

Where do they start?

Where do they end?

But where ever I go, it ends right back to you.

Where I once began- hopeful, looking head.

But dark phases came my way.

I have lived and loved, I have laughed and wept.

Moments turning in to memories.

Memories' - some that have gone dim.

But the memories of these circles, coincidently lead me to you.

People I met, some I had to painfully let go.

I journeyed through in circles twice.

Each journey I've learnt more and lost pieces of me.

Each circle complete, my new face - I see.

Changing through my travels, as I moved on.

But still I'm led back,

AT THE BEGINNING WITH YOU!!!

- Silencia

Shadows

Author's Comments:"This poem was written at a time when the worst emotions ran through my head and it is written to all those who have gone through the same...for I know how they feel. But I have realized one thing for sure that anything can be dealt with no matter how difficult it may be and escaping is not the answer."

Shadows in the night.

Shadows where there is no light.

So dark the colors they wear.

Secrets so many they bear.

Death, their close and dear friends.

Sorrow, to many they always send.

Far from me they always stay,

for I keep seeing the bright new day.

I always wonder, why can't I die?

And among white flowers would I lie.

My yearning for peace finally to me would come.

And a sad tune, I would no longer hum.

Shadows! Dark Shadows, don't stay away.

Give to another, my new day.

Willingly would I rest for them.

For within loneliness, my life has stemmed.

Take me into thy deep dark coat.

So others my presence don't have to loathe.

No other has ever waited for you more.

For once gone, my spirits would finally soar.

- Silencia